Nicknames
If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.
If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
Eating Out
When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
Money
A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he wants.
A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't want.
Bathrooms
A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, comb, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
Arguments
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
Cats
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
Future
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
Success
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Marriage
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
Dressing Up
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
Natural
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
Offspring
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears, and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
Happiness
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
3 comments:
LOL :)
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
Actually, I'm a guy, and that describes me and MY friends. Oh dear!
I love your blog, and me with my red shoe diaries feature and you with your awesome shoe avatar at fuelmyblog... it's a good match.
Anyway.. as I said, I found you through fuelmyblog.
You signed up at fuelmyblog probably hoping for increased traffic to your site. Well...
Fuelmyblog is having a voting competition in October. The top 100 vote getters win a
t-shirt and the top vote getter wins $500.
I've fueled (voted for) you because in some way, your site/blog stood out for me. Being on
the top 100 page also will gain traffic to your site, so please do go check it out! It's worth a few minutes of your time.
- Cheers and good luck from Fracas.
LMAO!
THIS WAS HILARIOUS!
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